A Friend in Need... Is a Choice

      A stripper gets fired for excess. How obtuse..... Do they get fmla coverage? Rehab costs covered? Anywho, a wonderful young lady reached out to me in a time of crisis. I had plans with another friend today; I could very easily said some supportive stuff about the situation and sent her on her way. I have certainly had past "friends" give me the "it will get better!" brush off in my own past.

      That is exactly why I couldn't do that to this suffering soul. I feel it is inherent to make adjustments and be physically present for comfort. A text is okay, a call is better, but nothing compares to when my doll face holds me when things grow dark. Did I "save the day"? I doubt it. Did I solve the problems? Not within my control. I merely showed a human being that I have shared laughs, liquor and moments with that I was also available to listen, to cry, to offer my support in a time of need. In this age of media and instant messaging, the power of a hug and an empathic stare have fallen prey to the next convenience or distraction. I'm not better than anyone who would decide differently, but I am omni-aware of the ache it can leave when someone reaches out and receives anything less than a partner in a painful time.

       I hope we all continue to try and appreciate people over the litany of pastimes that leave us engaged but our souls empty. It's important not to overthink it- a friend in need is my chance to comfort and be a friend indeed. I am not perfect, I have missed a cry for help in the past, but I strive to never make that mistake again. The slightest hint of discord requires nothing more than a "what's wrong?" It costs me nothing to think about someone eps in that moment, and it is up to them now to share or keep their pain to themselves. A friend will always give you enough to be aware of the predicament. An acquaintance is more likely to keep it aside. However, a friend with self worth issues may distract you, so as not to "bother" you.

      And these are the people who need us most.

In the Quiet of Night

     In the down moments when I am left to my thoughts - no music, no conversation, no intrusions - it comes so crystal clear that I am blessed. Not fro

 A comparison standpoint of "then and now", but from a mental vantage point of now standing alone. I am certainly not one of the chosen, and my blessing comes without forsaking sin as governed by the Bible. The only sin (the ultimate sin?) I have avoided is in giving up; the luxury to stay stagnant and not move forward. I won't claim this was always by design, plenty of times in my life it was events that moved me forward when I wished only to give in. 

     I have a job I enjoy, a great deal of people to enjoy (and who enjoy me as well), friends who will look to me and profess their live, a wonderfully rainy night in San Francisco, I need nothing and want for little, the pursuit of my education, the boy and a partner I am thankful to have at my side. Thanks to the grand mixture of these sacraments, I am able to live every day with extremely memorable moments and the smile on my soul that makes everything somehow pleasant. This not not the end that many anticipate.

     It is the beginning.

     So often, we find success and live in it and forget to appreciate it and enjoy it fully each time. Even further, I feel it is my calling to do everything I can to share it with others and try to give them a way to head towards their own private nirvana. The road is not without traials, but it is littered with results if we only take the time to look. Something as simple as reaching out to someone new with our hearts and giving them a chance to surprise us can provide that day's worth of glee. Being open to love at any cost without providing rules. Being overjoyed now without comparing it to my past or referencing it against my future.

     Being willing to be happy without needing a reason for permission.

I Am A Poet (You Know It!)

     Tonight I was offered a spot for a poetry reading at my local library. I was honored that my poem was considered stron enough to be read, but - oh, what I witnessed! The wife and I went with our friend Marcus; and what merriment was made! It's really as if the stories write themselves at this point....

      So we arrive at the library and are unsure of where the reading are taking place. We go to the room where there is a lot of commotion, and when we walk in we see what looks like a hipster old folks home. We are unsure if we are in the place until the wife asks and, yes, we are in the right place. The leader of the pack is handing out (in his words) "Propaganda" for an event this weekend. This particular gentleman has straw-like ghost white hair, A scarf (which seemed to be the appropriate attire), and way too large glasses. Also in the crowd we had a mid life hipster with a scarf (of course!), a blazer, and what appeared to be Salvation Army quality tennis shoes. We had what looked to be a 70 year old man with flowing white hair and a bright yellow shirt. Mix in some females and males of non descript origin and the three of us knew that hilarity awaited us. Little did we know the full scope of what we were to behold....

      I will give all the poets due credit - the poetry was all very descriptive and engaging on some level. It seemed very sterile and unemotional (to me), but not everyone is writing love/ like/ hurt poetry like my crazy self. However, the themes of the poems is what REALLY is the story. We had a lady writing about walking through poop in a small town, a young girl writing a story about coffee and sorrow, another young girl doing fan fiction about dancing the tango with a fairy (that seemed moments away from turning to porn) - then we had the heavy hitters. To say my wife and I were the only conservatives in the room would be a significant understatement. Yes, I live in California (the last communist post in the West), but holy mackarel what mine ears did witness!! We had the guy who started his poem about hoola hoops and ending with the horrors of Capitalism. There was the lady who woke up one morning and wanted nothing but world peace. NOTHING. Another guy describing a hobo (with a snap!) and referencing Diogenes. The amount of pretentiousness was enough to choke a horse with! The preached qualities of leftist philosophy was humorous, at best. Even Marcus, who is more left than right, felt like the things being said wee silly. I don't understand these people who want to tear down America for some communist ideal that died a terrific death 14 years ago. If only "love it or leave it" ws enforceable.

Anyway, a poem from today:

Out of sight,

But not out of mind.

Irritation clouding

My demeanor,

Darkness overwhelming

My soul

Manic or depressive;

Always left at the

Whims of a mind

Incomplete.

Who Wants to PARTY??

      Apparently, the idea of people celebrating birthdays no longer includes the age old "party". It's odd how something that was a celebration for a person on their day of becoming has now become an albatross many seek to avoid. Either the hesitation is from not wanting to be the center of attention; or from never really having that celebratory component growing up; or just a simple question of finances - so often these days people want to keep it low key. A cake and a few friends is a large event. I will admit that I am one of those people - I had like 2 "parties" growing up; and I always felt out of place. The question, I suppose, has become:

      If so few really want a party; why is it an accepted part of our expectations?

     

      In some ways, I think the party is for those people in your life to take one day to give you all their attention and to celebrate you; but if you are giving them attention and caring year round - it almost becomes a parody to then string up letters and fire confetti cannons and invite every single person the birthday person knows for (at best) free or (at worst) shared cost yumyumming. Often, the many facets of our life do not mingle except in these extreme circumstances; and the association tends to be awkward and forced for most. Besides which; everyone has their own relationships with the person being celebrated; but generally one person's (or group's) vision becomes the rule of the day.Like many other custom's lost to a time long past (pet rock anyone? Cootie shot?) I think the birthday party has become an expectation mired in the pretense of being the most important person in the world - even if for just one day.

      Birthday twinkies for ALL!!