My Darling,

As I sit here in a moment of (non-)clarity

I recognize I don't need symbolism

To accompany us upon our journey

Into the distant purple forever

Lying upon a hazy mountain

Cold and foggy and fascinating.

As I look upon the bamboo

That is dying now due to age

The one I brought for you

In my humble attempt

At associating us with durability.

A first attempt at "I love you.

Rifling through the memory box

I am flooded with one wave and again

Of timeless smiles hoisted upon

Emotional connect to foreign ideals.

Mary a one feels like an end

Just a buffet of simple beginnings.

I appreciate the passing of the moments

Alongside you experiencing the world

For it is creating a tapestry of thrills

That can only find creation with a 

Lifetime of forgotten re-memories.

Thank you for the select seconds

Where you stopped being aware

That there was anyone else

On the planet at that place and time.

Pergolas and metallicas and romantica-s.

Thank you for being you 

When you are with me.

The New Slavery

      When you look at the mass chaos we see every night on the news, it seems like I have heard and seen of things like this before. An elite littered with business owners holding down their workers. Men with money taking women at their whim based on money and power. The angry majority lashing at toward one another in an attempt to climb the social strata. The government is in place, the landowners have changed, but as the populace continues to destroy itself, we feed into the ultimate misery that we all feel.

The Time Draws Near

These past six weeks have been fantastic

We have lived, we have learned

We have found a mellow peace.

Airplanes,Planetaruims and Apple

You were there for each step of the way.

A thank you doesn't seem quite enough

To relate my unending amount of joy

Trapped in each of our experiences.

As we head back toward the "Reality Monster"

Don't let go of tours of my homestead

Or tales woven from the fabric of my youth

Or looking out into a hurricane at my side.

Take these joys along with you 

And know that there will be many more

I love you.

Are Your Legs Tired?

The throbbing base begins its ascent

As the subtle modesty descends

Your costume labels you unholy

But my desire's akin to sin

The guitar's emotional lament

Underlies your sultry swagger

Your eyes lie lifeless from apathy

Innocence torn from you long ago

Your body rides the bombastic beat

Your raven haired bun framing your face

Your top obscuring my sole purpose

As I anticipate your bare skin

Your overwhelming confidence

Excites my unbridled craving

You execute your dance of desire

As I offer tokens of attention

You slither towards my trembling frame

Breasts undulating on their own dance

Gather my mind to a single sight

Our eyes come together in purpose

My hope to peek behind the curtain

Your talent is to drain me for your gain

With the invitation of your body

And my anticipation rising

The choatic lights slide across your skin 

As you writhe, mirroring my fantasy

An almost embarrassing display

Creates an atmosphere of silence

Taken with your interpretation

Charisma; difficult to explain

Alas, impossible to forget

The crescendo is within your grasp

As the audience provides support

Ever faster; a whirling dervish

Heel stomps, pole bouncing, acrobatics

You sacrifice the stage to your sweat

The song trails off into the distance

Your strategic sonata gives way

To the holistic hum of the crowd

One last glance; the ringmaster bellows

You collect your bounty for beauty

You gather your costume once again

Subduing your sex-soaked persona 

To mingle with the yearning masses 

Seeking one who lusts to touch the dream

Filling their rejection with deceit

Caressing the object desired

In the hopes of a moments solace

Descend into their desperation

Remembering that "All the worlds a stage"

Offer them your hollowed out body

Tuck your soul away for safe keeping

Giving them their song for your "success"

Taking your characterization

To dance through their minds every day 

Don't Know What

My Son,

     I want to thank you for spending the past month with me and providing me a look at the wonderful young man you are becoming. I spent all day busy, but as soon as I got back to our hotel room, I realized how much I miss you. Always know that your Dad is thinking about you and everything I can do to make you happy and prepare you for the world. We adults do everything we can to make your life happy, but only you will be able to choose exactly what you want to be as a grown up. I am your father and I will always do everything I can to make you happy that I am your Dad. I love you.

Love, Daddy and Mama J

You Can Go Home Again

       It just won't be the same home you remember. I am reminded of Ancient Greek philosopher Hericlitis when he said that, "You can never step in the same river twice". That is true both from the perspective of a changing self (I am not the same man or experiences who left four years ago), as well as the ever changing landscapes of our 'hometowns'. There is so much familiarity in the overarching basics, but subtle changes are still a tad surprising and curious. It feels like what you remember, but your memory points out the subtle nuances to remind us it isn't.

      Friendships can be like this as well. As you move through time, many of the original interests shared become less vital as we mature and take our relationships into new ground as we discover it. Jobs, marriage, housing, politics, religion and even sports can be surpassed. If both friends are in tune enough to make the move, it can create a whole new playbox for them to create new castles and share.  If not, then you get those friendships that feel hollow when two people are together - the faces and the words are the same, but the passion for growing and becoming together can feel stilted over crab cakes and another annual meeting to discuss where everyone at work (or school or any social club) has done in the meantime. It's a theatre of the absurd for the delight of no one - a cause in reconciliation just because one party doesn't want to say, "It's enough. Let's leave with the good memories in tact".

     In both cases it's the subtle obligation to appreciate - much like visiting a funeral  or a dying relative. That sense of obligation without desire; a familiarity that feels appropriate if not desired. So many of us caught up in trying to horde those things that made us what we 'are', all while we change before our very own eyes. Like disco music and "Ice, Ice Baby", these environments stir our emotions and transport us to another time; another place - where our memories tell us were simpler; more 'us' (as long as no one else finds out). A friendship should be a commitment to understanding and accepting; not an obligation "for old times sake". People can be a part of our life for a time or throughout time, and we mustn't be afraid to let them be - while always being on guard to help if the time requires it.

My Last Will and Test Of Man

 While not legally binding, it is certainly emotionally so:

To my wife, I love my undying impassioned thankfulness. If ever sadness should stop by, take any random moment - from front step forevers to subtle surprise silliness in so many forms. Leave my body behind, for now my self travels at your hip in essence.

To my boy, I leave the world - as best I could unravel it for you. Only remember what I have said, as you get older it will unveil its current mysteries to you. There are so easy lessons only time can explain. Beyond all, be the person you were meant to be, but understand the world does not owe you to concern itself or agree with your combinations.

To my friends, I leave devotion that has not passed (though I may have). I hope your moments with me were complete and full - all I ever sought was to make my presence make a difference. Deep conversations or midnight runs to wal-mart; for that moment I hope there was nowhere you'd rather be.

To those who knew me in passing, I can only assume I left you something. For just a moment, I showed you who I was - and then you were able to take that with you. If you only gave the experience one more thought than it required, then it was worthwhile.

To the world, I leave my words. Hope, overcoming, becoming, rationality. In a lifetime of civility, I have watched so many of these things ripped from our vocabulary - perverted into catchphrases and sarcasms. I will cheer from the sidelines that the equality that comes from Logic will find its way into the futures yet found.

To myself, I give the thanks of knowing I did all I could with this form. I encountered the efficacy of eternity, I remained true to experiencing as many different things as I could, I found the self-respect to have the strength to stay true to my word, and I loved - many ways and many days. I have no regrets.