The First Pages, Hummingbird....

     Strip clubs are a microcosm of pure capitalism and lucid psychology in action. I didn't always understand the allure and idea of these environments, having been taught that they were a form of sex industry. The visual of drunken, writhing bodies and the scent of sweat overtaking me kept me hesitant, and the idea of a beautiful woman I could never have causing me to lust seemed to be a form of self torture. This seems to be the male dilemma I have encountered - either men see it as a visual buffet of beauty or a withheld, painful longing. After finally going to my first strip club, I found there was a third option. Hanging out and talking to the women at the club showed me a kinship with people who want to be heard; women who spend time satusfying the needs of others who don't take a moment to actually recognize the human being in front of him.

      Worse yet are the opinions of many women who cataloguer he club as a seedy pool where men go to leer and share sexuality with other women. The reality is that the club is a much less threatening option to relationships, a service that provides a fantasy with no ability to be attained by customers. In talking to the dancers, one comes to learn that these people, like the rest of us, have dreams and goals and struggles, just like the rest of us. They aren't any more sexual or deviant than the rest of us - they merely have a comfort with their bodies that allows them to provide a service that is seen less threatening when a Hollywood actress does it. A double standard given by societal norms and reinforced by women's insecurities (placed on then by society as well).

      This book is an attempt to reflect on these faceless women and reveal the reality of their profession. There is a wonder to what dancers are able to do on a daily basis, and there is a psychological toll that comes with being ignored in plain sight - giving others satisfaction while being offered nothing but money in return. There is no shame in what they do, and it is time that we, as a people, recognize this is a form of entertainment, not the prelude to an orgy.

It's Probably Unspeakable

From somewhere behind

The curtain

A gentle whisper:

Something doesn't

Feel right. 

I turn my attention 

Elsewhere,

But the whisper 

Becomes alarm.

What horrors have

Occurred while

I was distracted?

How will I handle

The outcome

Of this tragedy?

My body springs

Into action

Ready for the

Worst,

But once realized,

The situation is

Not dire.

No horrors await.

Something WAS

Askew,

But the unknown

Did not hold

Destruction.

Knowledge safe,

I go forth with

A gentle peace;

A better understanding.

A Friend in Need... Is a Choice

      A stripper gets fired for excess. How obtuse..... Do they get fmla coverage? Rehab costs covered? Anywho, a wonderful young lady reached out to me in a time of crisis. I had plans with another friend today; I could very easily said some supportive stuff about the situation and sent her on her way. I have certainly had past "friends" give me the "it will get better!" brush off in my own past.

      That is exactly why I couldn't do that to this suffering soul. I feel it is inherent to make adjustments and be physically present for comfort. A text is okay, a call is better, but nothing compares to when my doll face holds me when things grow dark. Did I "save the day"? I doubt it. Did I solve the problems? Not within my control. I merely showed a human being that I have shared laughs, liquor and moments with that I was also available to listen, to cry, to offer my support in a time of need. In this age of media and instant messaging, the power of a hug and an empathic stare have fallen prey to the next convenience or distraction. I'm not better than anyone who would decide differently, but I am omni-aware of the ache it can leave when someone reaches out and receives anything less than a partner in a painful time.

       I hope we all continue to try and appreciate people over the litany of pastimes that leave us engaged but our souls empty. It's important not to overthink it- a friend in need is my chance to comfort and be a friend indeed. I am not perfect, I have missed a cry for help in the past, but I strive to never make that mistake again. The slightest hint of discord requires nothing more than a "what's wrong?" It costs me nothing to think about someone eps in that moment, and it is up to them now to share or keep their pain to themselves. A friend will always give you enough to be aware of the predicament. An acquaintance is more likely to keep it aside. However, a friend with self worth issues may distract you, so as not to "bother" you.

      And these are the people who need us most.