Your Life Is the Definition of Insanity (If)

       It has steadily occured to me lately how many people "wish" (desire) something that is missing from their life. Be it a job, a loving relationship, a change in the people around them or even just a change in their circumstances; we live in a time where if we don't have the (perceived) American Dream (that many have bastardized and mocked), we are lacking. As people, we have not acheived on the same scale as others we know of or have seen in their mightiest light. It frustrates me because the power for many things rest on the shoulders of the individual, but many are looking for cosmic (divine?) intervention to set things right; for these dreamers are deserving of a better fate.

      In a time where many of our desires are possible and within our control with an internet connection and a modicum of desire: fame, art, love, jobs, sex changes, information (being turned into a newt is still not an option - but you could check with John Cleese) - so many of us are left wanting. Why?

      Many are not willing to truly do what it takes to gain their desire; even though it is within our grasp to do so.

      Let's take love, for example. I found myself talking to a young lady I have known for years when she mentioned how she wished she could find someone like I had found someone. She is also a national traveler, as our job allows for. I found my One on the road of work and life - why couldn't this young lady? I told her point blank, "Your man is out there, but he is not just going to be hanging out in your hotel room." She laughed, and the conversation continued on, but the key to everything was right there. In order to find what we want, we have to pursue it into uncomfortable situations, we have to want it bad enough to flex our current lifestyle, we have to make it a priority. Even those who seek something basic and fixed like contentment will have to be tested. Monks spend years training their minds to find "inner peace". (Not as long for us "Kung Fu Pandas") You can't just declare a desire for inner peace and passively back into Nirvana. Yet that is how we treat these things. I do not speak from a place of not knowing- I spent 13 years becrying my fate until the day I stood and changed. Even when bad things in life occur - when someone else's intent injures us, it is ultimately going to be up to us to find a way to let it go. Short of a lobotomy or medication; we posses the power internally (and the right universally) to choose another line of thought. It is never going to be easy. Yet wouldn't it be worth it to chase yourself into gleee rather than rest in horror? Another decision I had to make in my lifetime....

     The only way this idea doesn't succeed is when it is aimed at others who aren't willing or care to change. 

     "I wish he would notice me."

     "I want her to respect me."

     "I worry about his anger."

     "I want her to love me."

      This is not within our sphere of influence to change. We can ask, beg, ajole, jeer, whine, threaten - but this is where someone else's desires matter more than yours. If both of you care enough and can match them up; great! However, if this has become a desire, more than likely the attempt has been made and ignored. Not to say people don't change, certainly one can keep trying. However, you owe it to yourself (and the other person) to look realistically at what your asking and if they are capable. Or worth it. If you decide not, then you have to ask if you can change how you feel. If not, then another reposibility of being true to your self and your desire is not to pervert it to make it fit the construct you have before you - keep searching until you find someone who is worth it. If you want a companion who is funny, smart, attractive and a Gemini; then don't drop the first three criteria after the first Gemini you come across. It sounds silly, but we as a society do that all the time. 

       "My job would be great, except....."

       "He's everything I ever wanted, but....."

       "I really liked this car, until....."

       On the flip side, if you find someone who is funny smart and attractive; maybe you decide they are everything you want despite the fact they are a Virgo. (Go Virgo!) If you aren't that into Astrology, then that could be a winner. So many failures in our lives come from settling for things rather than continuing to pursue our dreams. Some times you have to settle - dreams ain't going to pay the bills. My libido doesn't just dissipate because it has no outlet. In these cases, take what you have before you (If you can't be with the one you love, love the one your with!) but continue the search. Don't proclaim your undying love to a booty call. Don't go to college to learn the best way to run a fryalator. Do wht you must to reach where you dream. Evolve, and don't settle into the comfort zone of "better than nothing". Appreciate the gift of discomfort - you are a learning, living, logical human being striving for your own inner peace. Nirvana.

       Define your self. Then become it!