I Can't Be Sure, But I Believe You Win Again!

     It's Sunday; work requires that I be in house tomorrow early; and I am on flight home a day earlier than normal. No Sunday night sleep followed by awakening to the majestic eyes of my love before our work week begins. A small price to pay for the security my profession provides; but a price all the same. That said; what an AMAZING weekend I just shared with my love. The search for wedding venues continues (and may actually have been completed).We got to spend some time on Skype with my son. We had many amazing meals; did chores around the house; spent time with friends; watched some fantastic movies and, most importantly, got some rest. The only thing better would have been to awaken tomorrow morning beside her...... and not have to leave her again. In time, our lives will coalesce and our weekly partings may become monthly..... or less. I am excited for tomorrow nonetheless; the next level of my job begins and it will be my time to perform and shine...

     The journey towards acceptance has definitely taken me to new heights in many ways - especially emotionally.  It is so incredible to talk to this woman - about life, about work, about love, about us...... about me.I learn so much about me in listening to her words; her thoughts; her opinions. THis journey to a proper wedding venue brings us even closer to one another - so many more insights and discussions lead to an even deeper breadth of knowledge. I have become so comfortable in her presence.... a feeling of complete acceptance. I am used to accepting but it is a first to at long last be completely accepted for my faults. I have many - and I know it. I am working my hardest to contain and redirect my inner demons - and I feel I am making enormous headway. She validates me in so many ways when I am unsure of myself - and what could I ask for any more than that from my best friend? My love?

     On wedding's and venues and all that surrounds this occasion - Man, there are a TON of different directions you can take this event. Gone are the days of Church; house and done. We have seen Victorian homes; Schools; Hotels; Museums; Churches; Clubs..... oh my! So many different aestethics;  trying to find one that fits us and what we are looking for is an adventure. As this blog may indicate - I am a visionary - I take what is and try to envision it with the things we want. She is very good at keeping an eye on the realities we are dealing with and keeping things on task. We have always complimented one another well.... and with our desire to be better together I believe we may even have increased our ability to be a wonderfully cohesive unit. It means a lot to have someone who compliments me so well..... but who also will call me on my actions when I need it. It's easy to be critical. It's easier still to be non confrontational and subordinate yourself to another. It's a fine line and a great skill to learn how to be constructively critical while still being kind. Or to overly positive while not being fake or insulting.