My Son

     On that first day, I did not hold you right away. You were whisked off and I was led to you in my xl bunny suit (that I still tore because it was too small). The nurse pulled on your limbs and poked you and prodded you and all I wanted was for them to clean you up so that I could hold you. You writhed and cried and passed all their tests and you were taken for your first bath.

     A while later you were brought to the room and I held you for the first time. I was surprised by your weight; but not your length. I finally couldn't stay awake anymore and drove the 45 minutes home to get my first rest in almost two days. My dreams were held in those poke-worthy hands...

     I awoke early that next day, a highly unusual occurrence; like Hailey's comet or conservative Californians. I rushed back to the hospital and stood by the nursery until 6 am, when they let parents in. The young nurse sweeping the floor pointed to your crib and told me I could grab a chair. Your mother wasn't up yet, and wouldn't text me so for another hour. I sat in that chair that day and revealed life's secrets to you: I, your father, would always be your biggest fan and greatest supporter. After 33 years on the planet Earth, I finally felt my heart start beating "that certain way" for the very first time. Virginia Tech football was a family tradition. With tears welling in my eyes, I reached to touch your tummy. You grunted a small grunt and grabbed my finger. You will never remember this moment, but I looked to you and said, for the first of many times:

"I love you, my boy. I want to throw baseballs and read books and kiss you goodnight. I don't know what life holds for your mother and I, but you will always be the reason I was born. I will teach you what I can, provide for you how I can, and give you the universe if I can just reach up and grab it.i love you every minute of the rest of your life."

       I turned to see the nurse behind me; and I blushed at the unchecked estrogen attach I had just endured. Yet, deep down inside, I knew it was right. I had never been more completely and totally emotionally and spiritually in love with anything or anyone in all of my days. You are the key that gave my heart to me. I may never give you all that other fathers can; there are many fathers smarter than me; many more fathers that are "cooler" than myself; but no one could ever devote themselves to their child's undying happiness and growth MORE than me.

     I love you, Nathan.