You Don't Say? (No, I Don't)

     I am not normal. I don't adhere to traditions by obligation; follow the lemmings to the end; blindly accept what is agreed upon without basis in fact. My bipolar brain gives me days where I pray for the "quiet mind" so many seem to have - a mind at rest when not challenged. The allure of "normal" is in it's universal understanding - and ability to just "drop it" once a subject has reached its apex. To mold oneself to the masses and just "get in where you fit in". Comfort as a part of the machine. 

      

     I don't carry an empty smile; an omnipresent forgiveness of mankind nor a mindset that accepts that creatures (of the four and two legged variety) should be let off the hook simply because it's more convenient to excuse misbehavior and ignorance (riots and mayhem) than it is to discipline the uprising in its infancy (a strong stand and jail time). I've never been one of the "beautiful people", therefore beholden to a given group or cross section of friends. I still believe in personal goals over great expectations; family values over "independence" and that this is a Nation "Under God..... and justice for all." (We are very clearly divisible among SO MANY lines; as sad as it is. Ignorantly so.) I don't have it in me to just work for a paycheck; to be satisfied with being mediocre and complacent; with following a title ("Manager") without thought to the logic of what I am being asked - and the self respect of always being ready to ask, "Why?" I chose my family ties based on whom I want to be associated with; not just the "sacred rite" of a family crest. Nor do I have any fear of death; I am whole in every moment and can accept that my day, too, shall come.

      However, we are not so different; the world and I. I want to be in love, ready to cherish and protect my closest companions and family. I look for ways in life to establish myself a "success" in an effort to earn the respect of my peers. I enjoy wearing my true smile and sharing it with the world to lugh along with me. Oh, I LOVE to laugh! I seek to learn, to grow, to become the best me that I can be - so that I can share the gift of my experience with everyone I come in contact with. I obey the laws of the land; for I am no degenerate - but I am open to expressing opposition in the correct forum when so inclined. I make assumptions in every day life for safety, but I judge a man based on the character he exudes toward me. I am gruff but I am fair - the embodiment of the agreement we all make while interacting with our species.

       This isn't one of those sugary sweet declarations that "we are all a family and should love one another". That's not me. We should all give people enough berth to just be. I don't ask that everyone like me or respect me or "get me" or even enjoy my company. If you are accepting of my person; then come along and let's play together and make memories that so many pass by every day. If you don't like me, just say that and lets move on. I am never mad at the truth- especially when it's YOUR truth - the world as you experience it. (Hell, I don't even like me some times!!) Life isn't difficult - humanity is. We have built societies to define a series of individuals; we have built mental defenses that cause us to stress uncertain futures to avoid "pain" (a bit ironic?); we define our indivduality by being a part of group; we accept doing things that don't benefit us because they are "the norm" and we silence our voices and despair over the state of affairs. When do we get to the point where we can just say - "Find what you are; what you want;  what you choose to be - and do THAT. Leave other people room to do their thing - help if you can or stay out of the way." Not in the hippie "I love you, Man!" context; more in the station of if you do YOU, how much happier could we all be? Where are the limits of self discovery? Where is the downfall of a group of talents versus a plethora of automatons?