For someone who prides himself on a large vocabulary (it's for more than just writing, folks), I have this nasty little habit of forgetting TONE can mean so much. The same words with a different inflection creates a whole new environment during a discussion. Even the love of my life is not immune - when we start going back and forth and the answer seems SO SIMPLE to me; I tend to forget that - for all of her amazing attributes - her ability to be NOT ME is one of her greatest talents. (Two of me would be a bad thing in one house) In forgetting, apparently I subconciously climb on my "That's so EASY" soapbox and turn from partner to "prophet". It seems to just sneak in to my voice - in my eyes (or ears, as it were) - the things I am saying are coming forth the same as when the talk began. However, when I look to her, it becomes apparent as her demeanor and tone change as well. In the good moments, she makes me aware of my folly and I am able to apologize and take back control from the "Auto-pilot Papacy" I have fallen in to. Other times, she gives as good as she's getting; and things crumble under the weight of ego.
The hard part of this is the generally held belief by many when I slide into this state of being is that I am looking to crush the other side in my desire to be "right". In honesty, it is a matter of becoming irritated at having to restate my point; not considering why the other party to the conversation cannot comprehend what seems so simple to me. This is not the right way..... logically I know how silly that sounds - we are all different and we all see things from different views with different eyes. However, in the heat of the moment, logic apparently can give way to pride; and it is a shame.
I love you dollface. I am sorry! :*
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