All Men Were Created. But With Apologies to the Founding Fathers...

     We were not all created equal. Sometimes my blogs are catharsis. Sometimes they are things I've been chewing on for a while but don't immediately know how to address. This blog is the latter. I'm going to get away from my theme lately of writing about my life and love.... because this has been bothering me - and this site is MY world; right? I lay down gravel for you all to travel..... but it is still my gravel. :) The funny thing about the determining state of the constitution is that TJ and GW and their brethren did not believe this statement - at most it applied to the other affluent (yes, WHITE) farm and business owning gentlemen of the day. I won't go over America's history - it's no worse than any other Nation and is; in many ways; a lot better than the World's Heavyweight Champion has acted through it's tenure as superpower.

     We aren't equals. Mom and Dad do many children an injustice by telling them - "Honey, you can do ANYTHING. You just have to want it." Can desire make average great? Yes; if the desire is powerful enough. Can ambition make an absolute lack of talent into average - much less great? No. In either case; there still isn't equality - some people can just sit down and write or philosiphize or self actualize or be happy or make others happy. It is my experience that I have to work at these things. I can sit down with these people and I can hang in a conversation - but I have to concentrate on what just flows from them with ease and precision. Are we equals? Perhaps from an outside view... but the reality is the person facing me is better at these things than I am. Does that make them a superior person? No. It makes them more skilled.

     The reality is we CAN't be "EQUALS" and in the same breath "originals" or even "individuals". It's part of proper society these days (mental void that it has become) to use these terms in relation to ones self - sometimes interchangeably. People just do NOT think before they speak - so much of "small talk" has become sound bites and cliches with a sprinkle of stupidity. Like "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" without the great music. To return to the point (Oh, tangent driven blogging), it is not possible to claim equality -  we don't have similar birthrights or histories or experiences or skill sets or even physical and mental capabilities. We are only equal in our inequality. No person can, in intellectual honesty, be measured against another - without bias. To want to do so is to stare at the sun in order to go blind and "find the dark". Madness.

     More importantly; it would seem that those who seek to be "equal" are insecure about there standing - period. IF I find myself equal - I can judge myself according to this other source. I will admit, I myself am guilty of this in my daily life - I can look on the actions of others with more compassion and less harsh judgement than I can look on my own. That is my opinion of how I am. Nothing so cliche as "I am my own worst critic". How can I know? How do I know what is in the heart of those who judge me? How can I know if their words truly echo their true feelings? That said; I can only judge that which comes from inside me. And so I will. I'm trying to break the "Equal" complex - trying to determine where I stand in a series of ways.

     Why does it matter where I stand? Why do I puzzle over the "big picture". IT always returns to the same place - I want it to matter I lived. I want it to matter that you are sitting at home reading this. I want it to matter that you are standing here with me - I want it to matter that of all the things you could do with your life right now - you chose this moment with me. Will I get a final tally on this before I die? I doubt it. My mark will be after I am gone..... how many will whisper my name in moments of sorrow? How many will say my name at night to God? Will anyone shed a tear at the mention of a moment shared? Will there be laughter at another of my many former hijinks?

     I will never know - and therefore living for this purpose is means..... I will never be aware of ends. I have to try.... I have to hope. I have to hope it will matter that I lived at all....