Part of the disconnect has come from society and the make up of things in the current world. People have been replaced by machines. Communication is by phone, email or text - not as much in person. We are constantly bombarded by sounds to where we become accustomed to having to tune things out - and so when we do settle in to communicate with people - it can become background noise and our mind wanders.
Speaking of minds wandering - with all of this technology and constant stimuli - we are finding it harder and harder as a nation to just settle down and relax. We are always one moment away from a random text message; an email from work; a phone call from mom - we always have the option of pulling out our phone to surf the web; play the latest video game; or just listen to music. We do these things while sitting in the presence of someone else - during dinner; at home or (especially) in the car. Television; radio; and so much more can go with us or distract us in any environment - a way of avoiding the present moment.
Interpersonal relations are becoming increasingly weighed down with all of the common intrusions. It takes time, patience and concentration to truly COMMUNICATE with another human being. It takes a desire to close out the world and settle into a cocoon with this other person and make a relationship blossom. It's all about making a priority of what you are building with this other person - not just passively hanging out as a way to pass the time between shows. People have become secondary; where they once were the most important form of entertainment; interaction; acceptance.
Not to sound old or like I am anti-technology; I am not. As anyone who has read this blog knows - my profession is actually as an IT professional. Technology has many positive uses - the world has shrunk; the ability to communicate and see each other with electronic media has made it easier to be away (for better AND worse); the ability to call in an instant has made it safer - as has the electronic devices in so many areas to record crime; the internet has made learning and knowledge more universally available - and increased our overall knowledge set; science continues to find a million new uses for all the things we are discovering.
My only worry is at what cost. IT's time to put down the phones; turn off the tv and truly interact with one another again. This is not SOLELY an American issue - but after my visit to Europe I would say it is PRIMARILY an American issue. People in these foreign countries don't have internet in some parts of these places.... and they feel no less for that. They still make sure to pay great attention to relaxing and enjoying life - sitting outside in the sun and conversing with friends and family. Meals are incredibly stout affairs of sharing food and stories and time with those you are close to. I rarely saw people eating in front of a tv; phones were not out on the table or accessed until the meal was done...... they haven't been spoiled to the point of making the electronics a priority. It's one of the things I fell in love with about being overseas..... it even shows in the basic interactions you had with people there - they still had an ability to connect with and enjoy others.
Next time you are out to dinner with a loved one - turn your phone off. Do they not deserve even MORE respect than your office? Leave your business emails for business hours. Find time when they are around to mutually explore other things - read a book (what a concept!); check your facebook; do your bills; watch tv.... share your life with this person - don't just find time for them.
So this blog took a definite turn of direction - but I am certainly known for going off on tangents and returning to the point. Time to tighten the reigns and return to where this began. Part of determining self worth comes from realizing that the things you do naturally can still have worth. So much of what I do is instinctual - I don't have to think about it and therefore I fail to recognize that those things do hold value..... and thus I do offer things to people that are relevant - That makes it matter that I was there - that not just anyone could have made that moment what it was. It feels nice to have someone who wants to give to me.... who insists on making it known that I am relevant. I am learning to accept.... expect?.... that I can ask for things I want or need and they are worthwhile and important. I AM good enough. That is my mantra. I am the partner she wants for life.... and it is in her judgement that proves that I AM good enough. I look to her to find how she is experiencing me... It's not up to me to interpret what I think she means. It is up to me to listen to what she says. My lessons continue to progress.... and I am steadily becoming the person I want to be for the person I want.
The large part of being comfortable comes from doing what is unknown - until I develop a comfort to the outcomes. That said; when I can see that all outcomes end in a positive place - I have no fear of any of the outcomes available. It's not fair to say "it could go either way" when the facts are that all outcomes lead to (at worst) another memory and another story for the ages. My darling will not leave me..... she will not want.... so any "risk" I take will not lead to a negative outcome - at worst what should have been thrilling may only have been passable..... but that's still better than a lot of life. As a human form of chaos - I have lived in the excitement that the unknown provides. When the outcomes matter - when I have something to lose - the fear sneaks in. I am accepting that there are no dark places in the light my love and I share.
I am fascinated by all of the things I am becoming and realizing. I am in love. I am happy. At last, again,
I AM.
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